He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
