When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
