She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I have already put on my inside pants.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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