But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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