you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Two words: blizzard sex
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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