why didn't you poke me back
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
