You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
