No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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