Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
