i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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