Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
