Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
