i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm sobbing to NWA
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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