I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
