your thong is hanging out like whoa
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
