I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I currently don't understand fingers.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
