Kiss
Puke
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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