And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
