You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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