windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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