everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I am mentally ready for anal.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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