they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
