you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
