Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I FOUND THE LEGS
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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