you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
