these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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