It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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