for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
