Pappa wants mamma naked
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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