Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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