1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
