I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
