i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
