I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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