google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Randomize
