trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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