Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize