i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
