she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
