I have demons in me.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
