Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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