You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
