You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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