another moral hangover. fuck.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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