Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
