I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
