I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
