it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
