then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
