bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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