Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
