I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Man, jail baloney is awful.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
